Some people find it odd that we’ve become friends with our son’s Birth Family. For me that was never a question if we should, I knew for our son’s sake, it was best. I truly enjoy the time I’ve spent with his Birth-Mom and valued the time I’ve had with their families. That’s not to say friendship didn’t come easily for everyone, (especially since not everyone was supportive of the adoption) but as things became final all of that changed.
So far we’ve had 3 visits (post hospital discharge) with his Birth Family and will have more in the future. Since we live in a different state there are set boundaries. I’ve created a private Facebook group for them so they can watch our little guy grow and be a part of his life. We post updates, share milestones, an occasional video and they keep us posted as well. I hope someday it will provide our Lil-Man with comfort knowing he’s always been loved and the best part will be that they’ve always been a part of his life.
Before our little guy arrived we threw a blessing shower for his Birth-Mom. Her friends and family came and showered her with gifts to celebrate her. It was a great experience. I was able to meet a lot of her extended family along and some of her close friends. Granted it was a little awkward especially as someone introduced me as the woman the Birth-Mom was making the sacrifice for ….ouch….I always wanted to ask that person how she thought we came in to contact, we weren’t going around asking expectant mothers if they’d be willing to make a sacrifice and give us their baby. His birth-mom was looking for a family for her baby. She found us, and that is only the beginning of our story.
Our son’s Birth-Mom turned to friend in October opening up about her pregnancy and saying she was considering placing her baby for adoption but that she wanted to find a family for him/her. That friend had just been emailed from my cousin, our letter to family and friends asking if anyone knew of someone expecting wishing to place their baby for adoption and she shared our story. On Christmas Day his birth-mom asked that same mutual friend if we were still looking for a baby to adopt, and they called us, that’s how we came to meet.
It is crazy to think that a year ago this month we came to the end of the road with our fertility clinic, wrote a letter to friends and family and put our journey out there. It also marks the one year since our Lil-Man’s Birth-Mom was almost 4 months pregnant, scared, overwhelmed, worried, questioning adoption and looking for a couple who could raise and love her baby as if he/she were their own. Our friend of the family gave her our letter sharing our journey and letting her know we would love to add her little one to our family. It was still a few months before she made contact with us.
Today marks the end of my 37th year, last year on my birthday-eve I felt like such a failure, I felt like I was less of a woman because my body wouldn’t do what it was suppose to do and I truly believed I had let my husband down. This past year was a blur…. full of change and the biggest and best adventure…..motherhood. It’s been something I have wanted to be for as long as I can remember and it is everything I imagined it would be and so much more than I ever dreamed, if that makes sense.
This year I know I’ve experienced a miracle, life sure has changed, in a good way! I quit a part-time job and am blessed to work from home. I enjoy every second I get to spend with our baby, he’s such a dream come true! I am thankful that we will get to share his life with his Birth-Family! I’m so thankful that times have changed and that we can have open communication with them. So many people love this little guy and I’m blessed to be one of them and thankful that his Birth-Mom chose my husband and I to be his parents.
Our Little-Big Love: