There have been a lot of trending articles, blogs and stories about adoption this month. I’ve found them to be so interesting and some to be eye opening. One of the most eye opening ones were very negative towards the adopting family because they’re not their “biological family”. Negativity towards the saying An adoptive child grows in their mommy’s heart” I found some blogs/stories to be very sad.
For me I loved our son and yearned to have him in our lives for YEARS, I cried for him every month that we weren’t successful, I rejoiced when his birth-mom chose us. Now just because I use the term birth-mom does not have any negative meaning to him he will know her as *Anna and if he wishes, Momma*Anna, she is and will always be his birth-mom. She chose us to be his parents so he will call us mom and dad (I was surprised that some adopt-ees dislike calling their adopting parents mom & dad). Mateus will have 4 parents and we all love him. I spent years mourning the fact that I cannot carry a baby (let’s be honest, couldn’t make a baby either). However, I love that little guy, MORE THAN ANYTHING!
Being his mom, getting to love him, care for him, raise him is an answer to our prayers.He will always know who made him, nurtured him, cared for him for 9 months and made the decision that she wanted us to have him, she made us a family and we welcomed him to our family, are raising him, loving him as if he were born from us and that we forever will do! She will be in his life just as she has been and I hope and pray that Mateus doesn’t have resentment towards any of us.
Truth-He is such an amazing gift (this was another thing that was talked about negatively in blogs by some adopt-ees this month, when adopting parents refer to their adopted child as a gift, I find this very odd, every baby should be seen as a gift. Mateus’ birth mom loves him so much that she made a decision that was best for him not necessarily best for her and I say it like that because I know it’s hard on her. I get the messages, I see the posts and I know she thinks about him all the time, that she longs to see him (which we’re going for a visit soon) and I also know that she wasn’t in a place where she could take care of him and she says when she sees pictures of him, has a visit and even video chat that it helps her know she made the right decision and he is with the best possible family.Can you imagine how hard that has got to be on her? Someone mentioned that they felt like they were taken from their real family and that their adopting family felt like had saved them from a horrible life. The truth is becoming parents saved us. We were so broken by not being able to have our baby and Anna* says that she feels blessed that she was able to make our biggest dreams for a family come true. *Anna had the need to know that her son would be well cared for, loved and nurtured…. our needs fit together.
She wants a family, some day down the road but to us she will always be an extension of our family. I know that for me, genetics have very little to do with who my family is, I had a birth-mom who I consider just an egg donor. I have a step mom who is my mom. I know it’s not the same as if she had birthed me but I also know that she loves me more than my birth-mom ever could.
Our little guy has said his first few words Momma, Mom and Yeah. He is shaking his head no (appropriately) and is walking holding on to furniture. He’ll be 8 months old soon! So hard to believe!
Happy Thanks Giving! Our little guy and I will be doing the Turkey Trot, I can’t wait! He loves the jogging stroller, it’s so fun to hear him squeal and babble while we’re out for a run. Gobble-Gobble!
(*Anna is not her name but for privacy I changed it)